


my soul for just a little light

by dragongirlG



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captivity, Cold, Dreams, Fire, Fireplaces, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort Bingo Round 10, Hydra (Marvel), M/M, Podfic Welcome, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Stucky Bingo 2019, Torture, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 15:56:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21530191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragongirlG/pseuds/dragongirlG
Summary: Alone and freezing in captivity after a rough hose-down by HYDRA, Bucky dreams of sitting in front of a warm fireplace with Steve.Fill for Hurt/Comfort Bingo Round 10 (square: "fire") and Stucky Bingo 2019 (square: "Pre-serum Steve").
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 16
Kudos: 52
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 10, Stucky Bingo 2019





	my soul for just a little light

Bucky's been covered in piss and sweat and vomit for days, naked and trapped in a tiny, cramped cell with the metal arm weighing him down from where it's been chained to the floor. Zola ordered the guards to throw Bucky in here as punishment after Bucky dented Zola's experimental equipment with a few well-timed jabs from his metal arm.

Captivity has changed Bucky's mind, heart, and soul, and most days his body no longer feels like his own. But his muscles still remember all the different punches from Goldie's Gym: jab, cross, hook, uppercut—and Steve, face twisted in a determined grimace, body bird-boned with ribs visible underneath a thin undershirt, breath whistling as he pulls on oversized gloves—

Freezing water shocks Bucky back to awareness. Bucky yelps, doubling over and shielding himself as much as the chained arm will allow. The high-pressure spray coming in through the bars is so cold that it burns against his skin. Still, he opens his mouth, lapping at the drops desperately. He ignores the faint laughter from the guards as he tries to quench his thirst, whining in frustration when the guards direct the water everywhere but his mouth.

When the guards have finished having their fun, there's a shallow pool of cold water spanning the entire floor of the cell, and Bucky is lying in it, curled into a fetal position and trembling from head to toe. He weakly turns his head and sips at the water he can reach, closing his eyes miserably.

He tries to imagine that he's somewhere warm, somewhere far away from here. He thinks of a crackling fire in the woods—Dum Dum, Monty, Jim, Gabe, Dernier all gathered 'round, rubbing their hands together in the crisp winter air of the Alps. Steve at Bucky's side, hunched over in his new hulking form like he's not used to it, and Bucky, his thoughts dark and twisted with fear—

No. Bucky doesn't want to think—doesn't want to relive that night. It had ended with him and Steve sharing the same tent, lying inches apart and yearning to touch, both of them too uncertain and scared to do so. Bucky had spent the night biting down on his own fist, shaking and sweating as his blood burned with Zola's poison—

Bucky takes a shuddering breath and tries again. A crackling fire. Indoors this time, safely contained in a fireplace underneath a fancy mantelpiece. Steve, small, before the serum, his cheeks a healthy pink, smiling as he bends over his sketchbook. Bucky, sitting next to him on the bench, watching the firelight cast flickering shadows on his golden hair, heart sparking with joy and love and hope. There's a mug of some steaming drink in his left hand—hot chocolate, maybe, or cider, and when he takes a sip, the liquid warms him to his bones.

"What're you drawing?" asks Bucky, wrapping his right arm around Steve's bony shoulders.

Steve looks up, eyes bright blue like the sky. His cheeks flare bright red, and he flips his sketchbook closed, tucking the pencil behind his ear. "Oh. It's nothing, Buck."

Bucky frowns and sets the drink aside, then tugs a little on the book. Steve's grip on it tightens. "Come on," Bucky wheedles. "Let me see. Can't be nothing after you spent so much time on it."

Steve bites his lip. "If I show you, you can't make fun, Buck. Promise."

"I'd never," says Bucky fervently.

"All right." Steve relinquishes the sketchbook, fidgeting as Bucky flips through half-finished sketches of various things: Brooklyn brownstones, trees, a curtained stage, a carnival, a car, mountains, flames. On the most recent page, there's a full-body portrait of Bucky himself, dressed in his favorite dancing outfit with his hair slicked back. Bucky tentatively lifts a hand to his head and touches his hair, then sniffs at his own fingertips, smiling a little at the faint scent of Brylcreem.

"You like it?" Steve asks, sounding nervous.

"It's real nice, Steve." Bucky hovers his fingers over the pencil lines, but he doesn't dare touch. "I look real handsome, don't I?"

Steve huffs a laugh. "Don't go getting a big head on me, Buck." He nudges Bucky with his shoulder, then says quietly, "But you do look handsome in that suit."

Bucky grins and nudges Steve back. "You want to go dancing?" He taps his feet in a familiar rhythm, humming under his breath.

Steve shakes his head, shifting a little closer to Bucky and resting his head against Bucky's chest. "Just stay here with me for a while, Buck. It's nice and warm with the fire."

"All right, Steve," says Bucky, not even pretending to be disappointed like he would normally. He slings his arm around Steve's shoulder and pulls him closer, nuzzling his cheek against Steve's hair.

Alone in the icy cell, shivering with hypothermia, Bucky drifts off to sleep with a contented smile as he escapes from the world in his dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Ray Charles' "In the Heat of the Night." You can find the lyrics [here](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/raycharles/intheheatofthenight.html).
> 
> [Reblog on Tumblr](https://dragongirlg-fics.tumblr.com/post/189243286463/my-soul-for-just-a-little-light)
> 
> Comments, kudos, and transformative works are always welcome. Please let me know what you think. I thrive on comments especially. 
> 
> Come say hello: [Tumblr](https://dragongirlg-fics.tumblr.com/) | [Dreamwidth](https://dragongirlg.dreamwidth.org/) | [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.social/dragongirlg)


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